Today is my great nan's birthday. She's 82 I think. She died 4 years ago in April of this year. My mum, my sister and I went to the cemetery to see her plot, where her ashes are buried alongside my great grandads, and my great great nans (my great nans mum). We do this most years, and we always make an effort to go on the anniversary of death too. We left three roses on the plot, one for each of them. We went to my nans sister, Joan, who died a very long time ago - years before I was born. She was 5 when she died. We left her a rose too. I think we're a few of the only people who go and see her grave, and we never even met her. Then we went to my uncles grandmothers grave, and left her a rose too. We took a picture of it to give to my uncle as he can never seem to find her grave, and he lives a couple of hours away now so we couldn't bring him to show it to him.
It's been a foggy morning. From when we woke up it was quite thick fog, and driving the the cemetery was eerie, but it wasn't scary at all. I was overwhelmed with a sad feeling, not one that was fearful like you'd expect. It was just sad, and still. Lifeless. When we left the cemetary it was still foggy, but within MINUTES the fog cleared and it was as if it had never even been there. The skies were blue, and yes, it was cold, but it's november! It was a lovely day again after we left. I like to think it was Nanny telling us to get our butts into hear and go and see her. XD She always reminds me. I'll smell her front room, or polos, or pipe smoke from my grandad a few days before we're due to go up the cemetery. It's nice. She's still watching over us even now. And so is grandad, and it's been 9 years since he died.
We spoke about all the nice memories we had of them on the way home. We're sad, we miss them, but we have a laugh when we talk about thm. It's never a nagative thing to think of them. In fact its quite the opposite. IT's a wonderful thing. We laugh and we talk about them in a wonderful way. Memories should never die with the person. They are part of what keeps their soul living in you. We are allowed to mourn their death, but you should never feel as though you can't still laugh at the times you had, even if they aren't there any more. It's not disrespectful to laugh when you mourn someone, because of course you had some nice memories with them! Don't let death make you miss them so much you can't smile at their memories. It's okay to miss them, but always remember the times you had with them were good, and that they are something work hanging on to.
R.I.P Great Nanny. I love you. <3
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